Not everyone is happy on Mother's Day

For many people Mother's Day is not all roses and chocolates. It can be a difficult and even painful day. For those people who have lost their mum, don't have contact with or live away from their mums, and for women (and men) who have lost a child or are childless, Mother's Day can be a reminder of what they have lost – or never had.

Planning ahead for how you will spend the day can really help you to get through the day.

Tips to help you make the most of Mother's Day

• If the day is difficult, plan ahead. Organise an activity you enjoy, go away for the day or weekend, or spend time with loved ones who understand and respect your feelings.
• Remember that it is okay to feel sad on Mother's Day.
• Tell your partner, children or extended family what you would like the day to be like. This also means your family does not end up feeling they have failed you on the day.
• If your children are little, talk to your partner, extended family or close friends so they can help organise the day for you.
• Create your own Mother's Day rituals – they don't have to be expensive
• If you have lost touch with your mother or child, try sending a card or message to let them know you care. But don't place any expectations on them.

Read Julie's story here

Jean Hailes research director, clinical psychologist Prof. Jane Fisher, tackled this subject in Monday's 'Life and Other Catastrophes' slot on ABC Radio 774. Listen again online at http://mpegmedia.abc.net.au/local/melbourne/201205/r939567_9926587.mp3

Further resources

See our Emotional wellbeing section for more information.

Content updated 4 May 2012